SOFI SYNDROME(Successful Outwardly – Failing Inwardly )

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Did you ever consider the idea that sometimes, the only voice you need to silence is the little voice inside your head?

How often do we sabotage from within without even giving something a try?

As a leader in business, or as an individual professional just setting some professional goals, many times we create our own SOFI SYNDROME (Successful Outwardly – Failing Inwardly) in two simple ways.

  1.  We give credibility to our inner fears, anxieties, and doubts.  Face it, no one knows you better than you.  Your inner saboteur has mastered the art of masking possibilities with everything that makes you apprehensive.  We allow that voice to have a constant, nagging, continual input into our efforts, or better yet, our reasons to put off our efforts, toward those goals that, when attempted, could elevate us to a higher ground – JUST FROM THE ATTEMPT TO REACH THOSE GOALS.
  2. We marry ourselves so much to the DESIRED OUTCOME, that we accidentally suffocate the exact things we are trying to manifest in our lives.  Have you ever “networked” to try to find a new job, only to realize that the “network” you value so much, is feeling pressured to find you a job.  When you let go of the OUTCOME as you have it defined “new job”, and embrace that you want to manifest a “fresh, challenging, rewarding, and exciting” new beginning, it is amazing how the dynamic, and ultimately the reality you manifest changes.

If you lead a group of business professionals, imagine how your own SOFI SYNDROME can be contagious.  Your energy transfers.

I often encounter leaders who have a mindset of frustration, built on experiences that their SOFI SYNDROME has created & nurtured for a lifetime, and they spend time convincing me “they have tried just about everything”.

I did this exercise recently with a group of independent consultants, sales leaders from various sized companies and various sized sales teams, and individual professionals, all looking for “the magic wand because they felt they had tried just about everything”. 

Here is a fun way to “see” what you do VS. “say” what you do. 

QUESTION: When income, profits, or sales are down….

ACTIVITY: Place the following actions on the side of the line they belong:


  1. Create a sales contest.
  2. Increase frequency of 1:1 meetings.
  3. Have brainstorming meetings to address the issue.
  4. Schedule time with an outside mentor for 40 – 50 minutes of outside “perspective.”
  5. Post results to track for all to see.
  6. Create activity checklists.
  7. Schedule time with a trained sales coach to check alignment of actions to visions, relative to outcomes.

The list can be customized of course, but the real magic comes when you see what you have tried, and what you believe you have tried. 

Ultimately, you will find your own new way.  We welcome that opportunity to be the outside voice you may need.  What a breath of fresh air it will be when, together, we change your SOFI SYNDROME to a FOFI lifestyle ( FULFILLED OUTWARDLY, FULFILLED INWARDLY).

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